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By Phoebe Rose

I cannot sleep

Please give me some peace

I forgot what made me alive

This fire that burnt inside

Put out with all this objectivity

That I should turn into positivity

Bigger the breasts, greater the chances

But too big and I become a whore

Little, young naïve me only wanted more

So I keep on drinking, shagging and snorting

Only for a new chance at starting

But still I’m weighed by previous mistakes

‘It wasn’t your fault’ they’ll say

So I’ll keep on smiling

And hiding

I’ll hide behind the words

Because I’m certainly sure

They’ve been heard before

Though they’ll never be read

Never knew the woman who said

‘I have given up’

Never known such a touch

I cry, I’m haunted

Paralytic, I’m taunted

A touch, a look, a full forced blow

It’s all it takes for us to want to go

But we do not get to choose this life

Cannot cast it all aside

One shot to making it better

Otherwise, if everyone who has ever shamed, criticised, abused you gets to dictate your future, then who wins, the latter?

Just bones in a box

Tick tock goes the clocks

It’s a competition for survival

I’m not gaining from revival

I’ve heard countless of similar stories

No more time to rewrite these

Different narratives

All comparative

Different endings

No new beginnings

Silenced out of fear

With no one to hear

Compliance makes it easier

Because no one will believe ya

Someday it may be clouded when I wake up with a stranger

Such self-inflicted danger

But don’t we all want to belong?

On the floor, another thong

Suffocated by him or the sheets?

And still I cannot sleep

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